"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps
it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the
music which he hears, however measured or far away." -
As children, we learned to behave (or at least appeared to behave)
in ways calculated to gain the approval of parents or authority
figures - the ones with the stuff. It made sense then to toe
the line for the people with the power to affect your life. If,
however, you're still trying to get approval from others,
you might want to ask yourself - "Whose life is it anyway?"
It's Your Life! Are you marching to your own drummer?
Are you directing your life in accordance with your own unique
desires? Are you living your life in your own way? When you realize
it's YOUR Life, you are no longer influenced by what other
people think. When you realize it's YOUR Life, you feel the
joy of following your own heart. When you realize it's YOUR
Life, you are fully empowered and truly free.
Trust that you have a source of unfailing guidance within you at
all times and decide to live in accordance with this inner wisdom.
Trust your internal compass and ignore the influence of others,
no matter how well-meaning they may be. As you become deeply convinced
that an inner knowing is always available to you and you listen
to your "still small voice," you will know what's
right for you and will be able to tune out the advice or criticism
Relax and Enjoy. I woke up one morning with a very clear
message: "You have lived millions of lifetimes before this
one. You will live millions of lifetimes after this one. Why not
relax and enjoy your life now?"
Following this guidance, I have been able to relax and enjoy my
own life in my own way. Following this guidance, I have been able
to realize that:
• there is nothing to fear
• there is nothing to prove
• there is no one I need to please or impress.
What Do YOU Want? I recently talked with a 33 y.o. woman
who had been living with her boyfriend for two years and desperately
wanted the relationship to move to the next level - marriage
and kids. Concerned that he did not want these things, she was considering
leaving him and starting all over. I suggested she ask herself two
questions: "What do you really want?" and "Why do
you want it?" Deeply meditating on these questions, she realized
that she had been responding to expectations from society in general
and her mother in particular. She realized that what she really
wants is to enjoy her life and be happy now, which means continuing
her relationship with this man. With her newfound clarity, she took
her life back and now feels the joy of living her life in her way.
So, ask yourself: "Am I doing something or wanting something
because of a desire that comes from inside or because of an expectation
that comes from outside?" When you start asking these questions,
you might be amazed at the extent to which you have been living
your life for the approval of others.
As someone who has spent her life trying to please others, I can
tell you that the transient happiness that comes from pleasing the
boss or the husband or the friend or the parent is a poor substitute
for the absolute happiness that comes from living your life in a
way that pleases you.
If you're trying to please others, you'll never be happy. If you're
living someone else's version of your life, you'll never be
free. So, ask yourself - "Whose life is it anyway?"