There is often a misconception of what makes up your personality.
There are personality tests that psychology is used to determine your personality, but many personality test are based on the psychologist interpretation, and may not give a good representation of your true personality.
We also need to look at the birth order, the family dynamics, and the communication that went on between family members, because all of these factors influence who you are.
Often you can have low self-esteem, especially when your parents often criticized you constantly.
In a family you learn how to behave based on what your parents allow you to get away with as a small child.
You may be someone who likes to be very dictatorial, and unless your parents teach you to be diplomatic, then as an adult you feel you have the right troll everyone and everything around you, whether it is appropriate or inappropriate behavior.
For instance, Janie grew up in a home where she started arguments with her older sisters, but the course she was never disciplined for this behavior she continues to control them even as they get older.
Along the way she was also given the silent message that it is okay to feel insecure, but by being verbally abusive to your other family members, this gives you power.
She became a teacher because once she gained tenure in the school system she could not be fired.
This also allowed her decontrolled she life in the workplace, by and mistreating students and not losing her job.
The problem is she didn't know how to get along with her coworkers, and often move from school to school, because she couldn't get along with the principals she worked with.
Then when she couldn't transfer schools anymore, she changed the county she worked in.
She was unable to work in the private sector, because her personality would not allow her to work with one company long-term, and self employment was not an option! The only way for her to improve her personality is to first admit she has a problem, and then be willing to get therapy so she can change her behavior.
But remember, unless you first recognize you have a problem in communication, or in the way you treat the people around you, no amount of therapy will help you.
The purpose of this story is to teach you how parents influence you when they allowed you to get away with inappropriate behavior, and also how it can influence the problems you have in the workplace.
There are things you can do to change your behavior, like learning what your natural behavioral style is in communication, and also how to adapt your style of communication to the people around you, so that you can avoid conflict in both personal relationships with your family in in the workplace.
What we often don't think about is that in a family each person has learned to respond in a given way because the family dynamics ran smoothly.
And a family when parents give negative messages to their children, which teach them emotionally to feel can area to the people around them, then back individual will often find a way to gain power by being abusive to someone else, especially if they are jealous of that individual.
Then too, if a parent is jealous of another relative, because they feel jealous of what the back individual, then their children learn exhibit the same behavior.
These are all behaviors that influence your personality as an adult.
There are many parts to your personality and communication is only one part of it.
We often forget that our body language also gives off a message to the people we are talking to, therefore, you may be saying one thing, but your body is giving off a totally different message, and the person talking to you can also recognize when you are liking to them.
The problem here is that unless we recognize how our body language also influences the message we're giving, then we forget that we are also telegraphing to the person you are speaking to that you feel inferior to them.
The best way to change your behavior is to become aware of how your words and your body language conflict with each other.
The best way to do this is the first learn why you react the way you do, so you can consciously learn to change your behavior.
For instance, if you grew up in a home where you often heard your parents criticizing someone else just because they would jealous of the clothes they wore, the car they drove, or the home they lived in; then you will repeat this way of communication about your friend as well.
Once you become aware that it is jealousy that drives your behavior, then you can also learn to gain confidence in yourself, and to consciously change the way you talk about your friends who someone else.